How to keep love alive in your marriage

“I don’t have the strength to try anymore,” you whisper, defeated. The person you once believed was the love of your life stares back hollowly. Too many tears of disappointment have been shed, too many hurtful words exchanged, and now you’re both here—at the end of yourselves, and maybe soon, your marriage.

You’ve tried everything, from making compromises for each other to going for counselling—but nothing has broken down the thick walls of hurt and accusation that you find yourselves trapped in.

“How did we get here?” you ask yourself. “And how do we get out?”

If this is you today, we want you to know that God cares deeply about your marriage, and He’s more than willing and able to turn your situation around.

Your marriage is close to His heart

In fact, the first miracle Jesus performed on Earth was at a wedding—where He turned water into wine for a couple who ran out of wine for their guests (John 2:1–11). Wine represents joy in the Bible, and is a symbol of the Lord’s abundant blessings.

Think about it: Jesus’ first miracle could well have been Him feeding the hungry, healing the sick, or raising the dead (all of which He went on to do). But nope—He chose to start His earthly ministry by lavishly providing wine (joy) for a bride and groom who’d ran out of it.

As you can see, marriage is certainly something dear to the Lord’s heart. Even if you feel like you’ve failed too much and don’t deserve His help, hey—the newlyweds probably didn’t either (it could’ve just been their own fault for not getting enough wine!).

The Lord desires that we have happy marriages, but He knows that we can’t get there on our own. His first miracle was to bring His own overflowing joy into a marriage, and He can still do that for you today.

His supply comes in superabundant measure

Standing nearby were six stone water jars, used for Jewish ceremonial washing. Each could hold twenty to thirty gallons. (John 2:6, NLT)

What’s more, when Jesus restores joy to your marriage, He does it exceedingly, abundantly, above all that we ask or think (Eph 3:20). If you do the math, He turned 120 to 180 gallons of water into intoxicating wine! Surely no wedding needs that much wine at its close, right?

But it’s just Jesus’ generous nature to do so.

So…if you feel like there’s just not enough love between you and your spouse today, that’s okay. Truth be told, our human thirst to be loved outweighs our ability to love. But God Himself is love (1 John 4:8), and we can receive all the love we’ll ever need (and more) from Him.

No amount of human effort could’ve turned even one drop of water into wine in a split-second, much less 6 giant pots of it! It truly takes Jesus’ miracle-working power to change the bland water of a loveless marriage into full-bodied wine.

You’ll be able to love your spouse, as you receive His love

You see, so much of our human love is conditional.

“If he changes, I’ll love him.”
“If she was more supportive of me, I’ll love her.”

But thank God that His love isn’t. And the more we receive His constant, unchanging love for us, the more we can love our spouses out of the overflow.

Because the truth is that we cannot change ourselves or others—we can only love them and trust the Holy Spirit to bring about true transformation.

Tell Him, “Lord, I cannot, but You can. You can do for my spouse what I can barely even do for myself.”

“He/she doesn’t deserve my forgiveness. But on the cross, You forgave me when I didn’t deserve it. So I can forgive even though my heart is still hurt.”

Or maybe you’re on the other side—you’ve let your spouse down, or you’ve simply been downright exhausted by his/her expectations.

But can you take your eyes off everything that’s wrong with you and your spouse, and receive the Lord’s love for you instead? Take some time out alone with Him and pour your heart out to Him. Allow His timeless words of love to wash over you—for one, did you know that He takes delight in you, and wants to calm all your fears with His love? (Zeph 3:17 NLT).

For we can only love when we’ve been truly loved by the Lord.

It only gets better from here

“A host always serves the best wine first… But you have kept the best until now!” (John 2:10, NLT)

We’d like to leave you with this thought: When Jesus turned the water into wine, it was the best wine anyone tasted that night.

Plus, good wine gets even better with age—so why shouldn’t your marriage too? Why shouldn’t you be having days of heaven on earth, filled with a love that is full of passion, romance, and unity?

As believers, God promises that our paths will only shine brighter and brighter (Prov. 4:18)—and your marriage is certainly included in that promise.

Even if your marriage is in shambles today, we pray that you’ll know that the Lord is fully able to do a miracle for you which defies all human logic. Just as He turned water into wine in an instant (when wine in the natural takes years to produce), your breakthrough might be closer than you think.

So today, will you invite Jesus into your marriage and receive His love afresh?

Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love. (1 Cor 13:13, NLT)

Editor and creative director. Lizzy’s background is in filmmaking and design. She is obsessed with good typography and visual balance. Her favourite hobby is hoarding blank page notebooks and calligraphy tools.

20 Comments

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  1. Pls pray for our marriage .we have been married for over 32 years, but since 15 years it’s not been good. I have been praying earnestly and inviting our Lord since we were born again and that’s almost 11 years. It’s only about disrespect, and pray from this day God will do a miracle, each day am expecting the same. Well, now am in hands of your Prayer warriors, Amen

  2. Yes very insightful. So good to be reminded of Jesus first miracle! That was the perfect example to use. I now have hope for my new relationship being revived and taken to the next level into something more permanent.

  3. Thank you so much for these words of wisdom, encouragement, ,and faith. I need the Lord ‘s amazing love and direction for me today. I cannot, but God can.

  4. What happens when you have already signed the divorce papers and your husband is already living with another women? How does that hurt go away especially if I didn’t want the divorce. I didn’t want to be out of God’s covering. He’s been in and out jail and I raised our only child on my own and I’m left alone. Will I be blessed with someone who loves God and loves me? What of our marriage? I’m so hurt and sad but yet if he doesn’t love me anymore, I just have a hard time moving on.

    • Hi Kim,

      Thanks lots for reaching out. We are deeply sorry for your loss, and are keeping you and your child in prayer. We want you to know that the Lord feels your pain and He is so close to you right now. We don’t know what the future holds, but we know that God holds your future—and as a child of God, He’s promised that it’ll only get brighter and brighter from here (Prov. 4:18). As King David once said of the Lord, “You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing” (Ps. 30:11 NLT), we’re praying that it’ll be the same for you. You are also not alone, for the Lord will never leave you nor forsake you. Friend and lover was put far from Him at the cross, so that we’ll have these people in our lives (Ps 88:18 NASB).

      Praying a fresh dose of the Lord’s love, peace and hope into your heart today.

      -Sarah, Team Decibel

    • Hi Kim, I’m just reading your words…my heart breaks and aches for you. May I encourage you to draw close to the mender of broken hearts, Jesus, He longs to heal your every hurt; hide yourself under the shadow of His wings and let His love wash over you. Zeph 3:17 (nlt) calls you, “…the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” You might just sit and calling the name of “Jesus…”, you might cry, with no words at all, but know HE ‘reads’ every precious tear. He calls you to, “…trust in him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge.” Psalm 62:8 (nlt) Pour out your heart to God, don’t hold back. I’m a witness, He draws you close and will comfort you; He truly loves and cares for you and your child.
      Praying…
      Kim

  5. Thank you Pastor Prince,
    I am revert from Muslim to Christian and Ever since you have come into my life you have enhanced my love for the Lord and I understand so much more everyday from you. My life is so much more than it was and I sincerely thank and praise the Lord for that and not forgetting you as well. From most of the explainations you give us on a daily basis I have written a prayer that I pray everyday and this has changed my life in so many ways its amazing. Yes, I have prayed that my relationship with my children, families and friends will get stronger and stand together as we go along for I have the Lord in me and that he loves me and he’s always with me. Being a single mum of three was not easy but the Lord has shown me differently through you. Thank you very much.

  6. Hi Lizzy,
    Thanks for sending me this article on marriage, i’m a keen follower of Joseph Prince teachings. I refer to him as my online Pastor. I and my husband have been separated for13 years now, i’m trusting God for re- union and intoxicating marriage.
    God bless you and the team in Joseph Prince ministry.
    Rgds,
    Hilda

  7. Wow! I feel as though God really addressed me in this one. Thank you so much Lizzy and Decibel for this message. God bless you.

  8. Very beautiful! Thank you for words of grace for my marriage! Thank you for a new revelation on God’s live for me and my wife!

  9. Awesome truth . We need to feel God’s love first and be aware of it every moment so we can love others instead of judging them .

  10. Then sings my soul my Saviour God to thee ..How great thou art how great thou art…
    Surely my heart is filled with Joy and my tongue with laughter..this is a true weapon placed in my hand to win in my marriage. Thanks to you all Team JP.. you are a blessing to this generation

  11. Thank you so much for these words of unconditional love from Christ Jesus, I Will own this message and blessings for me and my family, I ask for help with prayer for myself and my step daughter, she needs to find God to be able to start a new life with our Lord and her newly found family, I also need help and prayers to heal my heart from the past. TY. GOD BLESS YOU All

  12. Such powerful Truths that I will surely apply to my marriage thanks team JP God bless you and your families in Jesus name Amen!!!

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