{"id":1409,"date":"2018-08-10T20:00:57","date_gmt":"2018-08-10T12:00:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/decibel.one\/?p=1409"},"modified":"2019-05-31T15:30:10","modified_gmt":"2019-05-31T07:30:10","slug":"to-every-guy-whos-been-told-guys-shouldnt-cry-this-is-for-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/decibel.one\/to-every-guy-whos-been-told-guys-shouldnt-cry-this-is-for-you\/","title":{"rendered":"To every guy who\u2019s been told, \u201cGuys shouldn\u2019t cry\u201d, this is for you."},"content":{"rendered":"<p><div class=\"fusion-fullwidth fullwidth-box fusion-builder-row-1 hundred-percent-fullwidth non-hundred-percent-height-scrolling\" style=\"background-color: rgba(255,255,255,0);background-position: center center;background-repeat: no-repeat;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-top: 0px;border-width: 0px 0px 0px 0px;border-color:#eae9e9;border-style:solid;\" ><div class=\"fusion-builder-row fusion-row\"><div class=\"fusion-layout-column fusion_builder_column fusion-builder-column-0 fusion_builder_column_1_1 1_1 fusion-one-full fusion-column-first fusion-column-last\" style=\"margin-top:20px;margin-bottom:10px;\"><div class=\"fusion-column-wrapper fusion-flex-column-wrapper-legacy\" style=\"background-position:left top;background-repeat:no-repeat;-webkit-background-size:cover;-moz-background-size:cover;-o-background-size:cover;background-size:cover;padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px;\"><span class=\" fusion-imageframe imageframe-none imageframe-1 hover-type-none\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1920\" image_height=\"1080\" image_id=\"1433\" alt=\"To every guy who\u2019s been told, \u201cGuys shouldn\u2019t cry\u201d, this is for you.\" title=\"To every guy who\u2019s been told, \u201cGuys shouldn\u2019t cry\u201d, this is for you.\" src=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/to-every-guy-whos-been-told-guys-shouldnt-cry-this-is-for-you.jpg\" class=\"img-responsive wp-image-1433\"\/><\/span><div class=\"fusion-clearfix\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fusion-fullwidth fullwidth-box fusion-builder-row-2 nonhundred-percent-fullwidth non-hundred-percent-height-scrolling\" style=\"background-color: #ffffff;background-position: center center;background-repeat: no-repeat;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-top: 0px;border-width: 0px 0px 0px 0px;border-color:#eae9e9;border-style:solid;\" ><div class=\"fusion-builder-row fusion-row\"><div class=\"fusion-layout-column fusion_builder_column fusion-builder-column-1 fusion_builder_column_1_5 1_5 fusion-one-fifth fusion-column-first\" style=\"width:20%;width:calc(20% - ( ( 4% + 4% ) * 0.2 ) );margin-right: 4%;margin-top:20px;margin-bottom:10px;\"><div class=\"fusion-column-wrapper fusion-flex-column-wrapper-legacy\" style=\"background-position:left top;background-repeat:no-repeat;-webkit-background-size:cover;-moz-background-size:cover;-o-background-size:cover;background-size:cover;padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px;\"><div class=\"fusion-clearfix\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fusion-layout-column fusion_builder_column fusion-builder-column-2 fusion_builder_column_3_5 3_5 fusion-three-fifth\" style=\"width:60%;width:calc(60% - ( ( 4% + 4% ) * 0.6 ) );margin-right: 4%;margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;\"><div class=\"fusion-column-wrapper fusion-flex-column-wrapper-legacy\" style=\"background-position:left top;background-repeat:no-repeat;-webkit-background-size:cover;-moz-background-size:cover;-o-background-size:cover;background-size:cover;padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px;\"><style type=\"text\/css\"><\/style><div class=\"fusion-title title fusion-title-1 fusion-sep-none fusion-title-text fusion-title-size-three\" style=\"margin-top:16px;margin-bottom:16px;\"><h3 class=\"title-heading-left\" style=\"margin:0;\">To every guy who\u2019s been told, \u201cGuys shouldn\u2019t cry\u201d, this is for you.<\/h3><\/div><div class=\"fusion-text fusion-text-1 caption\"><p><strong>Joseph S | 4 min read<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div><div class=\"fusion-sep-clear\"><\/div><div class=\"fusion-separator fusion-full-width-sep\" style=\"margin-left: auto;margin-right: auto;margin-bottom:20px;width:100%;\"><div class=\"fusion-separator-border sep-single sep-solid\" style=\"border-color:#d1d1d1;border-top-width:1px;\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fusion-sep-clear\"><\/div><div class=\"fusion-text fusion-text-2\"><p>It started young. I was the wobbly eight-year-old boy who struggled at gym. You know, the one kid who gets picked last when the captain assembles their (<em>insert-any-sport)<\/em> team? That\u2019s me.<\/p>\n<p>I remember it was gym class one morning and we were racing one another. Our gym coach didn\u2019t notice how fast we were running until two kids tumbled and fell: One of them was me.<\/p>\n<p><strong>BAM!<\/strong> My right knee scrunched on hard gravel. I understood pain the way worship leaders understood their favorite worship song: Intimately.<\/p>\n<p>I started to cry at the intense pain and the shame of failing my team. But it wasn\u2019t long till the looming shadow of my coach appeared and snapped, \u201cGet up. Stop crying. Your friend is hurt much worse than you are and he isn\u2019t even crying. What a disgrace.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>There were no words of comfort.<\/p>\n<p>For the first time in my life, under the sting of my coach and classmates\u2019 disapproval, I began to swallow my tears and told myself: \u201cI shouldn\u2019t cry. I should be tough. I should be strong.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s been more than 20 years since. But every time I face pain or hurt now, I still try to psych myself up with those same words. The problem is, not wanting to show vulnerability has led me to a place of emotional dishonesty as well, where I\u2019m afraid to confront how I really feel because it would reveal that I wasn\u2019t strong enough, that I was weak.<\/p>\n<p>Now, when people say, \u201cHey Joe, how are you doing?\u201d, even if I\u2019m not well or troubled by a recent struggle, I would say, <em>\u201cI\u2019m good!\u201d<\/em>, <em>\u201cYeah, not bad, how about you?\u201d<\/em> and quickly divert their attention to something else.<\/p>\n<p>But that, of course, is a wearisome way to live. Because not only did I close myself up to people, but inevitably, also to God.<\/p>\n<p>It has taken me time to figure out that\u2014maybe\u2014it would be safe to open up to Jesus. After all, I\u2019ve always been afraid that showing weakness would cause me to lose the respect of others.<\/p>\n<p>Yet here was Jesus, the one who <a href=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/the-unlikely-cure-for-loneliness\/\">knew me inside out, yet somehow still wanted to love me wholeheartedly despite my weaknesses. <\/a><\/p>\n<p>So to help any of you out there who might be struggling with emotional dishonesty too, here are some Bible passages that\u2019ve helped me get better at being myself before God and before people.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>God always gave David renewed hope and peace when the warrior poured out his rawest feelings, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/BlLBJY8gNjo\/?taken-by=decibel.one\">even in complaint against Him<\/a>. \u201cI spill out my heart to you and tell you all my troubles.\u201d (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/passage\/?search=Psalm+142%3A2&amp;version=TPT\">Ps. 142:2 TPT<\/a>) These were the words that David, known for his tight relationship with God, once said to Him. David was a man who was never afraid to be vulnerable before the Lord. In fact, most of the Psalms read like a pretty emotional blog of David\u2019s struggles. Isn\u2019t it highly relatable and comforting to know that this man who walked alongside God so closely in the prime of his youth was also one who was so willing to spill his heart out before his King?<\/li>\n<li>God <a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/passage\/?search=exodus+3%3A9&amp;version=NKJV\">heard the groans<\/a> of the Israelites oppressed in Egypt and delivered them to freedom. Who said it was weak to ask for help in times of distress and trouble?<\/li>\n<li>God <a href=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/lost-your-way-gods-still-around\/\">personally drew near<\/a> to prophet Elijah and comforted him when he was lost and in the pits of discouragement. And when Elijah <a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/passage\/?search=1+Kings+19&amp;version=NKJV\">cried out in despair<\/a>, frustration and exhaustion, \u201cEnough of this, God! Take my life\u2014I\u2019m ready to join my ancestors in the grave!\u201d, God never answered his prayer, the man never died.<\/li>\n<li>God allowed His only Son to bear the crushing pain of loneliness in our place on the cross. There, God turned His back on Jesus as He carried the weight of our sin, and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/passage\/?search=Psalm+88%3A18&amp;version=NKJV\">put loved one and friend far from Him<\/a>, so <em>we\u2019d<\/em> have bosom friends and loved ones today.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Today, you can be completely real with the One who knows everything you\u2019re going to say <a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/passage\/?search=Psalm+139%3A1&amp;version=MSG\">even before you start speaking<\/a>. And nothing is too small to tell God about, for His love for you is detailed and personal\u2014He even numbers the hairs on your head! (Luke 12:7)<\/p>\n<p>And when you\u2019re able to be honest with the Lord about your weakness, that\u2019s when He can truly become your help and strength.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re struggling with vulnerability today, can I invite you to let God be the first friend whom you can safely <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/Bhg2kVeBNpw\/?taken-by=decibel.one\">#uglycry with<\/a>? As you allow yourself to be authentic with the One who already loves you perfectly, you\u2019ll find yourself better at being emotionally honest with others too (which can open doors to great friendships).<\/p>\n<p>Know that you\u2019re not alone in your hurts today. And share this article with someone who needs to hear this too.<\/p>\n<\/div><div class=\"share-box fusion-sharing-box boxed-icons\" style=\"background-color:#ffffff;\" data-title=\"To every guy who\u2019s been told, \u201cGuys shouldn\u2019t cry\u201d, this is for you.\" data-description=\"To every guy who\u2019s been told, \u201cGuys shouldn\u2019t cry\u201d, this is for you. \r\n\r\nJoseph S | 4 min read \r\n\r\nIt started young. I was the wobbly eight-year-old boy who struggled at gym. You know, the one kid who gets picked last when the captain assembles their (insert-any-sport) team? 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fusion-flexslider-loading flexslider flexslider-hover-type-zoomin\"><ul class=\"slides\"><li><div class=\"full-video\"><iframe width=\"1152\" height=\"649\" src=\" https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/uW4A4cYywFI\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div><\/li><\/ul><\/div><div class=\"recent-posts-content\"><span class=\"vcard\" style=\"display: none;\"><span class=\"fn\"><a href=\"\" title=\"Posts by Joey O\" rel=\"author\">Joey O<\/a><\/span><\/span><span class=\"updated\" style=\"display:none;\">2019-12-12T18:24:04+08:00<\/span><h4 class=\"entry-title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/goodness-of-god-cover-annette-lee\/\">Goodness Of God<\/a><\/h4><p>Check out the full acoustic cover by Annette Lee!<\/p><\/div><\/article><article class=\"post fusion-column column col col-lg-4 col-md-4 col-sm-4\"><div class=\"fusion-flexslider fusion-flexslider-loading flexslider flexslider-hover-type-zoomin\"><ul class=\"slides\"><li><div class=\"full-video\"><iframe width=\"1152\" height=\"649\" src=\" https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/rWUxYfgFe0k\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div><\/li><\/ul><\/div><div class=\"recent-posts-content\"><span class=\"vcard\" style=\"display: none;\"><span class=\"fn\"><a href=\"\" title=\"Posts by Joey O\" rel=\"author\">Joey O<\/a><\/span><\/span><span class=\"updated\" style=\"display:none;\">2019-10-10T11:09:37+08:00<\/span><h4 class=\"entry-title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/interview-with-pat-barrett\/\">Interview with Pat Barrett (Live @ Decibel.one Studio)<\/a><\/h4><p>Hear him share about fatherhood, the many stories behind his songs and his advice for young songwriters!<\/p><\/div><\/article><article class=\"post fusion-column column col col-lg-4 col-md-4 col-sm-4\"><div class=\"fusion-flexslider fusion-flexslider-loading flexslider flexslider-hover-type-zoomin\"><ul class=\"slides\"><li><a href=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/what-is-the-holy-communion\/\" aria-label=\"What is the Holy Communion?\" class=\"hover-type-zoomin\"><img width=\"700\" height=\"441\" src=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/what-is-the-holy-communion-700x441.jpg\" class=\"attachment-recent-posts size-recent-posts\" alt=\"What is the Holy Communion?\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/what-is-the-holy-communion-320x202.jpg 320w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/what-is-the-holy-communion-700x441.jpg 700w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\" \/><\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/div><div class=\"recent-posts-content\"><span class=\"vcard\" style=\"display: none;\"><span class=\"fn\"><a href=\"\" title=\"Posts by Joey O\" rel=\"author\">Joey O<\/a><\/span><\/span><span class=\"updated\" style=\"display:none;\">2019-10-01T10:05:34+08:00<\/span><h4 class=\"entry-title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/what-is-the-holy-communion\/\">What is the Holy Communion?<\/a><\/h4><p>Answering all your frequently asked questions about the Lord\u2019s Supper.<\/p><\/div><\/article><article class=\"post fusion-column column col col-lg-4 col-md-4 col-sm-4\"><div class=\"fusion-flexslider fusion-flexslider-loading flexslider flexslider-hover-type-zoomin\"><ul class=\"slides\"><li><a href=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/to-the-one-who-feels-lonely-this-valentines\/\" aria-label=\"To the one who feels lonely this Valentine\u2019s Day, read this.\" class=\"hover-type-zoomin\"><img width=\"700\" height=\"394\" src=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/to-the-one-who-feels-lonely-this-valentines-day-read-this-1.jpg\" class=\"attachment-recent-posts size-recent-posts\" alt=\"To the one who feels lonely this Valentine\u2019s Day, read this.\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/to-the-one-who-feels-lonely-this-valentines-day-read-this-1-85x48.jpg 85w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/to-the-one-who-feels-lonely-this-valentines-day-read-this-1-171x96.jpg 171w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/to-the-one-who-feels-lonely-this-valentines-day-read-this-1-192x108.jpg 192w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/to-the-one-who-feels-lonely-this-valentines-day-read-this-1-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/to-the-one-who-feels-lonely-this-valentines-day-read-this-1-313x176.jpg 313w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/to-the-one-who-feels-lonely-this-valentines-day-read-this-1-364x205.jpg 364w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/to-the-one-who-feels-lonely-this-valentines-day-read-this-1-384x216.jpg 384w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/to-the-one-who-feels-lonely-this-valentines-day-read-this-1-561x316.jpg 561w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/to-the-one-who-feels-lonely-this-valentines-day-read-this-1-608x342.jpg 608w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/to-the-one-who-feels-lonely-this-valentines-day-read-this-1-728x410.jpg 728w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/to-the-one-who-feels-lonely-this-valentines-day-read-this-1-758x426.jpg 758w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/to-the-one-who-feels-lonely-this-valentines-day-read-this-1-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/to-the-one-who-feels-lonely-this-valentines-day-read-this-1-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/to-the-one-who-feels-lonely-this-valentines-day-read-this-1-1122x631.jpg 1122w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/to-the-one-who-feels-lonely-this-valentines-day-read-this-1-1152x648.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/to-the-one-who-feels-lonely-this-valentines-day-read-this-1.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\" \/><\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/div><div class=\"recent-posts-content\"><span class=\"vcard\" style=\"display: none;\"><span class=\"fn\"><a href=\"\" title=\"Posts by Joey O\" rel=\"author\">Joey O<\/a><\/span><\/span><span class=\"updated\" style=\"display:none;\">2019-12-31T12:04:08+08:00<\/span><h4 class=\"entry-title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/to-the-one-who-feels-lonely-this-valentines\/\">To the one who feels lonely this Valentine\u2019s Day, read this.<\/a><\/h4><p>They say hindsight is 20\/20, so we pray that you\u2019ll find some nuggets of wisdom and fresh hope from the journeys we\u2019ve taken.\r\n\u2800\r\n<\/p><\/div><\/article><\/section><\/div><div class=\"fusion-clearfix\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fusion-layout-column fusion_builder_column fusion-builder-column-5 fusion_builder_column_1_5 1_5 fusion-one-fifth fusion-column-last fusion-column-no-min-height\" style=\"width:20%;width:calc(20% - ( ( 4% ) * 0.2 ) );margin-top:20px;margin-bottom:10px;\"><div class=\"fusion-column-wrapper fusion-flex-column-wrapper-legacy\" style=\"background-position:left top;background-repeat:no-repeat;-webkit-background-size:cover;-moz-background-size:cover;-o-background-size:cover;background-size:cover;background-color:#f2f2f2;padding: 20px 8% 30px 8%;\"><div class=\"fusion-column-content-centered\"><div class=\"fusion-column-content\"><style type=\"text\/css\"><\/style><div class=\"fusion-title title fusion-title-3 fusion-sep-none fusion-title-center fusion-title-text fusion-title-size-five\" style=\"margin-top:16px;margin-bottom:-20px;\"><h5 class=\"title-heading-center\" style=\"margin:0;\"><p class=\"g1-alpha g1-alpha-1st\">Get our 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