{"id":1711,"date":"2018-11-03T20:00:06","date_gmt":"2018-11-03T12:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/decibel.one\/?p=1711"},"modified":"2020-07-17T15:12:25","modified_gmt":"2020-07-17T07:12:25","slug":"what-having-anxiety-taught-me-about-god","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/decibel.one\/what-having-anxiety-taught-me-about-god\/","title":{"rendered":"What having anxiety taught me about God"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><div class=\"fusion-fullwidth fullwidth-box fusion-builder-row-1 hundred-percent-fullwidth non-hundred-percent-height-scrolling\" style=\"background-color: rgba(255,255,255,0);background-position: center center;background-repeat: no-repeat;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-top: 0px;border-width: 0px 0px 0px 0px;border-color:#eae9e9;border-style:solid;\" ><div class=\"fusion-builder-row fusion-row\"><div class=\"fusion-layout-column fusion_builder_column fusion-builder-column-0 fusion_builder_column_1_1 1_1 fusion-one-full fusion-column-first fusion-column-last\" style=\"margin-top:20px;margin-bottom:10px;\"><div class=\"fusion-column-wrapper fusion-flex-column-wrapper-legacy\" style=\"background-position:left top;background-repeat:no-repeat;-webkit-background-size:cover;-moz-background-size:cover;-o-background-size:cover;background-size:cover;padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px;\"><span class=\" fusion-imageframe imageframe-none imageframe-1 hover-type-none\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1920\" image_height=\"1080\" image_id=\"1712\" alt=\"What having anxiety taught me about God\" title=\"What having anxiety taught me about God\" src=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/what-having-anxiety-taught-me-about-god.jpg\" class=\"img-responsive wp-image-1712\"\/><\/span><div class=\"fusion-clearfix\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fusion-fullwidth fullwidth-box fusion-builder-row-2 nonhundred-percent-fullwidth non-hundred-percent-height-scrolling\" style=\"background-color: #ffffff;background-position: center center;background-repeat: no-repeat;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-top: 0px;border-width: 0px 0px 0px 0px;border-color:#eae9e9;border-style:solid;\" ><div class=\"fusion-builder-row fusion-row\"><div class=\"fusion-layout-column fusion_builder_column fusion-builder-column-1 fusion_builder_column_1_5 1_5 fusion-one-fifth fusion-column-first\" style=\"width:20%;width:calc(20% - ( ( 4% + 4% ) * 0.2 ) );margin-right: 4%;margin-top:20px;margin-bottom:10px;\"><div class=\"fusion-column-wrapper fusion-flex-column-wrapper-legacy\" style=\"background-position:left top;background-repeat:no-repeat;-webkit-background-size:cover;-moz-background-size:cover;-o-background-size:cover;background-size:cover;padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px;\"><div class=\"fusion-clearfix\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fusion-layout-column fusion_builder_column fusion-builder-column-2 fusion_builder_column_3_5 3_5 fusion-three-fifth\" style=\"width:60%;width:calc(60% - ( ( 4% + 4% ) * 0.6 ) );margin-right: 4%;margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;\"><div class=\"fusion-column-wrapper fusion-flex-column-wrapper-legacy\" style=\"background-position:left top;background-repeat:no-repeat;-webkit-background-size:cover;-moz-background-size:cover;-o-background-size:cover;background-size:cover;padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px;\"><style type=\"text\/css\"><\/style><div class=\"fusion-title title fusion-title-1 fusion-sep-none fusion-title-text fusion-title-size-three\" style=\"margin-top:16px;margin-bottom:16px;\"><h3 class=\"title-heading-left\" style=\"margin:0;\">What having anxiety taught me about God<\/h3><\/div><div class=\"fusion-text fusion-text-1 caption\"><p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>Joey O | 4 min read<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"gtx-trans\" style=\"position: absolute; left: 185px; top: 38px;\">\n<div class=\"gtx-trans-icon\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><div class=\"fusion-sep-clear\"><\/div><div class=\"fusion-separator fusion-full-width-sep\" style=\"margin-left: auto;margin-right: auto;margin-bottom:20px;width:100%;\"><div class=\"fusion-separator-border sep-single sep-solid\" style=\"border-color:#d1d1d1;border-top-width:1px;\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fusion-sep-clear\"><\/div><div class=\"fusion-text fusion-text-2\"><p>For as long as I can remember, I\u2019ve grappled with some form of anxiety. And as a Jesus-loving, church-going \u201cgood Christian girl\u201d, I\u2019ve often found myself stuck trying to reconcile my faith and my anxiety.<\/p>\n<p>Because as if spiraling into another panic attack wasn\u2019t bad enough, the condemnation that I always felt in the midst of it told me that I must be doing something wrong. \u201cIs my faith defective?\u201d I\u2019d ask myself. \u201cDid I not pray hard enough? Didn\u2019t Jesus say He has given me His peace?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re a believer struggling with anxiety today, I want you to know this\u2014<strong>you are not broken and your faith definitely isn\u2019t. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I know it\u2019s tough to believe that when you\u2019ve tried every spiritual and worldly means to get <em>better<\/em>. You\u2019ve tried to \u2018pray the anxiety away\u2019. You\u2019ve even gone through every breathing exercise on that meditation app, and the anti-anxiety pills you\u2019ve taken have brought you more side effects than relief.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, maybe anxiety\u2019s <em>still <\/em>a problem in your life, today, right now.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe like me, you\u2019re resigned that this will probably be the narrative of your life\u2014stuck, fear-ridden, and weak.<\/p>\n<p>That was me. I felt like the Apostle Paul, with that <u><a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/passage\/?search=2+Corinthians+12%3A7-10&amp;version=NKJV\">thorn in his flesh<\/a><\/u>, begging God to take it away from me. But while that didn\u2019t happen for Paul, God showed him something else instead. As Paul said:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, \u201cMy grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.\u201d So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That\u2019s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Cor. 12:8\u201310, NLT)<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Like Paul, to whom God gave a revelation instead of simply taking away his weaknesses, I had a similar experience of His strength.<\/p>\n<p>I remember sitting on my bathroom floor in the midst of yet another panic attack. It was probably the fourth time I was going to miss church <em>again<\/em> because of a sudden attack. And the thought of how my friends would see me when they found out only made it worse.<\/p>\n<p>In that moment, it hit really hard that I had exhausted every way I knew how to battle my anxiety, and there was no fight left in me anymore. I was spent. Deep inside, I knew this wasn\u2019t the life I wanted to continue living\u2014paralyzed and missing out on all that God has called me to live. Call it sheer desperation, but the only prayer I could manage was, \u201cHelp me, Lord.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And in the midst of that attack, I felt like I understood what it meant when He assured Paul that, \u201cMy grace is enough, it\u2019s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.\u201d (2 Cor. 12:9 MSG)<\/p>\n<p>God\u2019s strength didn\u2019t magically appear in the form of positivity and good vibes, but as an <u><a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/passage\/?search=John+14%3A27&amp;version=NIV\">unexplainable peace that settled very slowly into my gut, from realizing that He was still with me<\/a><\/u>, even as I sat on that bathroom floor.<\/p>\n<p>I guess that was what I really needed to know:<strong> That God was STILL with me even in the midst of my anxiety, and He wasn\u2019t there to condemn me, but to love me.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>That afternoon, I got up, took a cab, and went to church for the first time that month.<\/p>\n<p>If I\u2019m honest with myself, part of my anxiety comes from me expecting myself to be perfect, unfazed-by-life, and worry-free\u2014a.k.a. the unattainable super Christian. But the truth is, God never expected that of me at all, ever. So why did I start expecting that of myself?<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m learning every day that the win isn\u2019t to arrive at an unattainable finish line where my anxiety levels hit 0% (and beating myself up for not being able to \u2018get there\u2019). The win is to realize that God is with me and He loves me even when my anxiety is at 99%.<\/p>\n<p>Because <strong>the journey I\u2019m taking with Him is one of <a href=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/really-what-is-spiritual-growth\/\">growing dependence upon Him<\/a>, the perfect and altogether lovely One<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>I still have days where I feel that familiar numbness creeping through my limbs as my body readies itself to panic, but that doesn\u2019t mean that I\u2019ve failed in my faith and I have to start all over again.<\/p>\n<p>And I\u2019ve learnt that in those moments, my best response is not to beat myself up, but to allow God to do what He does best\u2014saving, loving, and being strong for me when I\u2019m not.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ll not stop praying for my anxiety to be gone but \u2018till then, it doesn\u2019t mean that I\u2019ve failed as a Christian. Instead, <strong>it reminds me that I need so much more of God in my life, and I think that\u2019s a great place to be. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I would never have imagined being able to share this story with you, but here it is\u2026and I hope you\u2019ll share yours to encourage others walking the same journey too. Friend, <u><a href=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/how-my-less-is-more-with-god\/\">God&#8217;s strength is best revealed in your weakness<\/a><\/u> and I pray that as you take this journey with Him, you\u2019ll see the fullness of His love and His grace towards you, more and more each day.<\/p>\n<p>&#8212;<\/p>\n<p><em>We talk more about matters of the heart such as anxiety and how you can stay anchored in the Lord\u2019s love and grace through it all, in Joseph\u2019s new book <a href=\"https:\/\/anchored.decibel.one\/\">Anchored: Finding Peace in the Storms of Life<\/a><\/em><em>.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><div class=\"share-box fusion-sharing-box boxed-icons\" style=\"background-color:#ffffff;\" data-title=\"What having anxiety taught me about God\" data-description=\"What having anxiety taught me about God \r\n\r\nJoey O | 4 min read\r\n\r\n\r\n \r\n\r\nFor as long as I can remember, I\u2019ve grappled with some form of anxiety. And as a Jesus-loving, church-going \u201cgood Christian girl\u201d, I\u2019ve often found myself stuck\" data-link=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/what-having-anxiety-taught-me-about-god\/\"><h4 class=\"tagline\" style=\"color:#181818;\">Share This:<\/h4><div class=\"fusion-social-networks boxed-icons\"><a class=\"fusion-social-network-icon fusion-tooltip fusion-facebook fusion-icon-facebook\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fdecibel.one%2Fwhat-having-anxiety-taught-me-about-god%2F&amp;t=What%20having%20anxiety%20taught%20me%20about%20God\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"color:#ffffff;background-color:#3b5998;border-color:#3b5998;border-radius:4px;\" title=\"Facebook\" aria-label=\"Facebook\" data-placement=\"top\" data-toggle=\"tooltip\" data-title=\"Facebook\"><\/a><a class=\"fusion-social-network-icon fusion-tooltip fusion-twitter fusion-icon-twitter\" 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class=\"fusion-clearfix\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fusion-fullwidth fullwidth-box fusion-builder-row-3 nonhundred-percent-fullwidth non-hundred-percent-height-scrolling\" style=\"background-color: #f8f8f8;background-position: center center;background-repeat: no-repeat;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-top: 0px;border-width: 0px 0px 0px 0px;border-color:#eae9e9;border-style:solid;\" ><div class=\"fusion-builder-row fusion-row\"><div class=\"fusion-layout-column fusion_builder_column fusion-builder-column-4 fusion_builder_column_4_5 4_5 fusion-four-fifth fusion-column-first\" style=\"width:80%;width:calc(80% - ( ( 4% ) * 0.8 ) );margin-right: 4%;margin-top:20px;margin-bottom:10px;\"><div class=\"fusion-column-wrapper fusion-flex-column-wrapper-legacy\" style=\"background-position:left top;background-repeat:no-repeat;-webkit-background-size:cover;-moz-background-size:cover;-o-background-size:cover;background-size:cover;padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px;\"><style type=\"text\/css\"><\/style><div class=\"fusion-title title fusion-title-2 fusion-sep-none fusion-title-text fusion-title-size-one\" style=\"margin-top:16px;margin-bottom:16px;\"><h1 class=\"title-heading-left\" style=\"margin:0;\"><h4>You might also like<\/h4><\/h1><\/div><div class=\"fusion-recent-posts fusion-recent-posts-1 avada-container layout-default layout-columns-3\"><section class=\"fusion-columns columns fusion-columns-3 columns-3\"><article class=\"post fusion-column column col col-lg-4 col-md-4 col-sm-4\"><div class=\"recent-posts-content\"><span class=\"vcard\" style=\"display: none;\"><span class=\"fn\"><a href=\"\" title=\"Posts by Kaling T\" rel=\"author\">Kaling T<\/a><\/span><\/span><span class=\"updated\" style=\"display:none;\">2021-04-21T13:16:13+08:00<\/span><h4 class=\"entry-title\"><a 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class=\"updated\" style=\"display:none;\">2019-08-05T13:40:33+08:00<\/span><h4 class=\"entry-title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/why-you-can-expect-good-things-to-happen-to-you\/\">Why you can expect good things to happen to you<\/a><\/h4><p>\u201cDon\u2019t get your hopes up.\u201d \u2063Because if your hopes get dashed, it wouldn\u2019t hurt as bad\u2026right? <\/p><\/div><\/article><article class=\"post fusion-column column col col-lg-4 col-md-4 col-sm-4\"><div class=\"fusion-flexslider fusion-flexslider-loading flexslider flexslider-hover-type-zoomin\"><ul class=\"slides\"><li><a href=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/what-having-anxiety-taught-me-about-god\/\" aria-label=\"What having anxiety taught me about God\" class=\"hover-type-zoomin\"><img width=\"700\" height=\"394\" src=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/what-having-anxiety-taught-me-about-god.jpg\" class=\"attachment-recent-posts size-recent-posts\" alt=\"What having anxiety taught me about God\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/what-having-anxiety-taught-me-about-god-85x48.jpg 85w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/what-having-anxiety-taught-me-about-god-171x96.jpg 171w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/what-having-anxiety-taught-me-about-god-192x108.jpg 192w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/what-having-anxiety-taught-me-about-god-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/what-having-anxiety-taught-me-about-god-313x176.jpg 313w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/what-having-anxiety-taught-me-about-god-364x205.jpg 364w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/what-having-anxiety-taught-me-about-god-384x216.jpg 384w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/what-having-anxiety-taught-me-about-god-561x316.jpg 561w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/what-having-anxiety-taught-me-about-god-608x342.jpg 608w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/what-having-anxiety-taught-me-about-god-728x410.jpg 728w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/what-having-anxiety-taught-me-about-god-758x426.jpg 758w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/what-having-anxiety-taught-me-about-god-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/what-having-anxiety-taught-me-about-god-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/what-having-anxiety-taught-me-about-god-1122x631.jpg 1122w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/what-having-anxiety-taught-me-about-god-1152x648.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/what-having-anxiety-taught-me-about-god.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\" \/><\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/div><div class=\"recent-posts-content\"><span class=\"vcard\" style=\"display: none;\"><span class=\"fn\"><a href=\"\" title=\"Posts by Joey O\" rel=\"author\">Joey O<\/a><\/span><\/span><span class=\"updated\" style=\"display:none;\">2020-07-17T15:12:25+08:00<\/span><h4 class=\"entry-title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/what-having-anxiety-taught-me-about-god\/\">What having anxiety taught me about God<\/a><\/h4><p>If you\u2019re a believer struggling with anxiety today, know this\u2014you are not broken and your faith definitely isn\u2019t.<\/p><\/div><\/article><article class=\"post fusion-column column col col-lg-4 col-md-4 col-sm-4\"><div class=\"fusion-flexslider fusion-flexslider-loading flexslider flexslider-hover-type-zoomin\"><ul class=\"slides\"><li><a href=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/lifes-not-fair-neither-is-god\/\" aria-label=\"Life\u2019s not fair. But can God be unfairly good?\" class=\"hover-type-zoomin\"><img width=\"662\" height=\"441\" src=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/StockSnap_LP47VXNU6G.jpg\" class=\"attachment-recent-posts size-recent-posts\" alt=\"\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/StockSnap_LP47VXNU6G-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/StockSnap_LP47VXNU6G-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/StockSnap_LP47VXNU6G-1024x682.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/StockSnap_LP47VXNU6G.jpg 2011w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 662px) 100vw, 662px\" \/><\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/div><div class=\"recent-posts-content\"><span class=\"vcard\" style=\"display: none;\"><span class=\"fn\"><a href=\"\" title=\"Posts by Lizzy L\" rel=\"author\">Lizzy L<\/a><\/span><\/span><span class=\"updated\" style=\"display:none;\">2020-07-20T20:49:04+08:00<\/span><h4 class=\"entry-title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/lifes-not-fair-neither-is-god\/\">Life\u2019s not fair. But can God be unfairly good?<\/a><\/h4><p>The truth is, life is never going to be fair. But the good news is that neither is God.<\/p><\/div><\/article><article class=\"post fusion-column column col col-lg-4 col-md-4 col-sm-4\"><div class=\"fusion-flexslider fusion-flexslider-loading flexslider flexslider-hover-type-zoomin\"><ul class=\"slides\"><li><a href=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/why-you-can-stop-trying-to-live-the-christian-life\/\" aria-label=\"Why you can stop &#8220;trying&#8221; to live the Christian life.\" class=\"hover-type-zoomin\"><img width=\"661\" height=\"441\" src=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/kaboompics_Beautiful-blonde-woman-relaxing-with-a-can-of-coke-on-a-tree-stump-by-the-beach-1.jpg\" class=\"attachment-recent-posts size-recent-posts\" alt=\"\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/kaboompics_Beautiful-blonde-woman-relaxing-with-a-can-of-coke-on-a-tree-stump-by-the-beach-1-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/kaboompics_Beautiful-blonde-woman-relaxing-with-a-can-of-coke-on-a-tree-stump-by-the-beach-1-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/kaboompics_Beautiful-blonde-woman-relaxing-with-a-can-of-coke-on-a-tree-stump-by-the-beach-1-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/decibel.one\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/kaboompics_Beautiful-blonde-woman-relaxing-with-a-can-of-coke-on-a-tree-stump-by-the-beach-1.jpg 2000w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 661px) 100vw, 661px\" \/><\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/div><div class=\"recent-posts-content\"><span class=\"vcard\" style=\"display: none;\"><span class=\"fn\"><a href=\"\" title=\"Posts by Lizzy L\" rel=\"author\">Lizzy L<\/a><\/span><\/span><span class=\"updated\" style=\"display:none;\">2020-07-28T12:22:57+08:00<\/span><h4 class=\"entry-title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/decibel.one\/why-you-can-stop-trying-to-live-the-christian-life\/\">Why you can stop &#8220;trying&#8221; to live the Christian life.<\/a><\/h4><p>It is exhausting trying to live up to the invisible goals of perfection.<\/p><\/div><\/article><\/section><\/div><div class=\"fusion-clearfix\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fusion-layout-column fusion_builder_column fusion-builder-column-5 fusion_builder_column_1_5 1_5 fusion-one-fifth fusion-column-last fusion-column-no-min-height\" style=\"width:20%;width:calc(20% - ( ( 4% ) * 0.2 ) );margin-top:20px;margin-bottom:10px;\"><div class=\"fusion-column-wrapper fusion-flex-column-wrapper-legacy\" style=\"background-position:left top;background-repeat:no-repeat;-webkit-background-size:cover;-moz-background-size:cover;-o-background-size:cover;background-size:cover;background-color:#f2f2f2;padding: 20px 8% 30px 8%;\"><div class=\"fusion-column-content-centered\"><div class=\"fusion-column-content\"><style type=\"text\/css\"><\/style><div class=\"fusion-title title fusion-title-3 fusion-sep-none fusion-title-center fusion-title-text fusion-title-size-five\" style=\"margin-top:16px;margin-bottom:-20px;\"><h5 class=\"title-heading-center\" style=\"margin:0;\"><p class=\"g1-alpha g1-alpha-1st\">Get our latest content and freebies straight to your inbox!<\/p><\/h5><\/div><style>\n #_form_11_ { font-size:14px; 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