Your marriage doesn’t have to be a struggle

Lizzy L | 4 min read

“I don’t have the strength to try anymore,” you whisper, defeated. The person you once believed was the love of your life stares back hollowly. Too many tears of disappointment have been shed, too many hurtful words exchanged, and now you’re both here—at the end of yourselves, and maybe soon, your marriage.

You’ve tried everything, from making compromises for each other to going for counselling—but nothing has broken down the thick walls of hurt and accusation that you find yourselves trapped in.

“How did we get here?” you ask yourself. “And how do we get out?”

If this is you today, we want you to know that God cares deeply about your marriage, and He’s more than willing and able to turn your situation around.

Your marriage is close to His heart

In fact, the first miracle Jesus performed on Earth was at a wedding—where He turned water into wine for a couple who ran out of wine for their guests (John 2:1–11). Wine represents joy in the Bible, and is a symbol of the Lord’s abundant blessings.

Think about it: Jesus’ first miracle could well have been Him feeding the hungry, healing the sick, or raising the dead (all of which He went on to do). But nope—He chose to start His earthly ministry by lavishly providing wine (joy) for a bride and groom who’d ran out of it.

As you can see, marriage is certainly something dear to the Lord’s heart. Even if you feel like you’ve failed too much and don’t deserve His help, hey—the newlyweds probably didn’t either (it could’ve just been their own fault for not getting enough wine!).

The Lord desires that we have happy marriages, but He knows that we can’t get there on our own. His first miracle was to bring His own overflowing joy into a marriage, and He can still do that for you today.

His supply comes in superabundant measure

Standing nearby were six stone water jars, used for Jewish ceremonial washing. Each could hold twenty to thirty gallons. (John 2:6, NLT)

What’s more, when Jesus restores joy to your marriage, He does it exceedingly, abundantly, above all that we ask or think (Eph 3:20). If you do the math, He turned 120 to 180 gallons of water into intoxicating wine! Surely no wedding needs that much wine at its close, right?

But it’s just Jesus’ generous nature to do so.

So…if you feel like there’s just not enough love between you and your spouse today, that’s okay. Truth be told, our human thirst to be loved outweighs our ability to love. But God Himself is love (1 John 4:8), and we can receive all the love we’ll ever need (and more) from Him.

No amount of human effort could’ve turned even one drop of water into wine in a split-second, much less 6 giant pots of it! It truly takes Jesus’ miracle-working power to change the bland water of a loveless marriage into full-bodied wine.

You’ll be able to love your spouse, as you receive His love

You see, so much of our human love is conditional.

“If he changes, I’ll love him.”
“If she was more supportive of me, I’ll love her.”

But thank God that His love isn’t. And the more we receive His constant, unchanging love for us, the more we can love our spouses out of the overflow.

Because the truth is that we cannot change ourselves or others—we can only love them and trust the Holy Spirit to bring about true transformation.

Tell Him, “Lord, I cannot, but You can. You can do for my spouse what I can barely even do for myself.”

“He/she doesn’t deserve my forgiveness. But on the cross, You forgave me when I didn’t deserve it. So I can forgive even though my heart is still hurt.”

Or maybe you’re on the other side—you’ve let your spouse down, or you’ve simply been downright exhausted by his/her expectations.

But can you take your eyes off everything that’s wrong with you and your spouse, and receive the Lord’s love for you instead? Take some time out alone with Him and pour your heart out to Him. Allow His timeless words of love to wash over you—for one, did you know that He takes delight in you, and wants to calm all your fears with His love? (Zeph 3:17 NLT).

For we can only love when we’ve been truly loved by the Lord.

It only gets better from here

“A host always serves the best wine first… But you have kept the best until now!” (John 2:10, NLT)

We’d like to leave you with this thought: When Jesus turned the water into wine, it was the best wine anyone tasted that night.

Plus, good wine gets even better with age—so why shouldn’t your marriage too? Why shouldn’t you be having days of heaven on earth, filled with a love that is full of passion, romance, and unity?

As believers, God promises that our paths will only shine brighter and brighter (Prov. 4:18)—and your marriage is certainly included in that promise.

Even if your marriage is in shambles today, we pray that you’ll know that the Lord is fully able to do a miracle for you which defies all human logic. Just as He turned water into wine in an instant (when wine in the natural takes years to produce), your breakthrough might be closer than you think.

So today, will you invite Jesus into your marriage and receive His love afresh?

Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love. (1 Cor 13:13, NLT)

Watch our accompanying video here.

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